The past few months have been a tough road at the Plachy house.
Decisions to be made that really don’t have a ‘pick me’ sign out in front.
Days filled with difficult conversations that I would much rather avoid, hide from, and just ignore all-together.
But I choose not to.
I’ll be honest. It’s exhausting.
I’ve had so many conversations in my brain about why … why am I so exhausted? Why am I so fatigued?
And, it took a randomly odd experience this week to help me understand.
You see… dealing with shit that sucks requires courage.
Courage as it turns out is a skill.
It’s not a personality characteristic.
It’s not a personal preference.
And you have to build it AS you use it.
There are many, many, many moments in each of our lives when we are offered the opportunity to develop this skill.
And there are many, many, many moments when we choose not to.
We choose to ignore.
We choose to hide.
We choose to avoid.
And I seriously don’t blame anyone of us for making that choice.
Because developing courage is really hard work.
The trouble is, we rarely get to decide when it’s time to develop and work on the courage skill.
Courage is called upon when we aren’t expecting it.
That’s sort of the point.
If we could plan for difficult, hard, challenging life moments, we’d (likely) not even need courage, because we could be prepared.
Enter my random experience this week.
I saw a woman I’ve known for eight years at a back to school night.
She ignored me.
I know this because it was the third and confirming moment when I realized she really is going out of her way to ignore me.
The first time, we were in a parking lot and I said hi, she looked at me, made a face and then looked the other way.
Then I saw her at another event and she totally ignored my presence (in a group of two other people).
This week, same thing. I walked up to three people (she being one of them) and … you guessed it. Ignored.
Once I recovered from being embarrassed and hurt.
I thought about it.
Why would she ignore me?
What have I done?
I honestly have no clue.. although I could get really creative with guesses.
But… here’s why she ignored me.
Because .. courage.
Ignoring is hiding.
Ignoring is avoiding.
Ignoring is easy. Courage to communicate is hard.
Courage would have had her approach me when I did the thing she’s ignoring me for.
Courage would have her say ‘hello’ and be graceful, even if she doesn’t like my company.
Courage = Work = Hard.
And she’s not all in for that. Not for me anyway.
And … I don’t judge her for it.
It’s hard to do the courage thing.
It’s hard to build a skill and push through the discomfort of it.
I am actually grateful to her. Because she helped me see the truth behind so much of why we don’t do (insert here).
Why we avoid.
Why we ignore.
Why we hide.
Sometimes, we get courage fatigue and we need a rest.
What is that rest for you?
For me.. it’s the beach.
It’s the ocean.
Which is why I always have to have that rest planned, so I know it’s coming.
How do you care for yourself when you find you’re in courage fatigue?
Plan to rest, recover and resume.
Be courageous…. Relentlessness requires it.